Another day, another realization. You will wake up and see yourself in the mirror and you will have a choice to make, just as you will sit before an empty notebook or a blank screen with a choice to make. You can know that this is who you have been, an empty notebook, and choose to stay that way or you can pick up the pen and write. Or if you see a face that never smiles you can choose to attempt a little grin and see if it sticks. You can know that where you are right now, in a body that you’ve been neglecting isn’t where you have to be tomorrow.
But you will have to pay. I have a little post-it note stuck to the monitor just right there that asks me “What will I pay?” So far, I haven’t paid much. I am ready to take on the challenge now, be brave, tell my little girl self it’s going to be okay. Just because this is where I am today doesn’t mean it will stay this way, not if I can help it.
Be brave. Be strong. Write the truth, the sad, ugly, mean truth. Pay the price to make the words come, to make them something. I can do this. I have been for the last 15 minutes, this gentle tapping on keys while the world stands still beneath overcast skies and the littlest bit of rain.
Goals for the week (in general): read more, write more, salad more, masquerade no more.