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Indigo Vales

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Tag Archives: poison

ID Please.

17 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by Kristine in Uncategorized

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Tags

conversation, fight, justice, poison, race, truth

I heard about a high-school girl who will not be allowed to attend her prom and got kicked off her athletic teams because she refuses to cut off her braid extensions.  They’re nice, neat braids that no one would give a second thought to if you saw her at the mall, but the school says her hair is in dress code violation, as would be wearing nail polish.   I reached out on twitter to offer support for the young lady, and to agree it sure looked like discrimination. Another twitter person promptly told me that white women got no skin in this game, we’re not allowed to say what’s discriminatory against blacks. Only black people can do that. Well. That sure gave me something to think about. Maybe that’s true, but I think what she really wanted was to shut down my white voice on a black situation.

Well hey, I guess that takes me off the hook now!  I don’t have to think or say or do anything for anybody–EVER– unless it relates to being a white female, gravid-1.  All right!  Think of all the conversations I will never have to participate in because I can’t relate to the others. All the books and music I won’t have to listen to or read because they weren’t written by white females who have birthed at least once.  Rock-n-roll!

I’ll never have to be concerned with or feel the need to learn more about or certainly not develop an opinion and take a stand for men’s issues, criminal justice, female genital mutilation, holocaust denial, bullfighting, white nationalism, poverty, homelessness, discrimination, police brutality, drug addiction.  Nope, never happened to me, can’t be part of the conversation, and certainly in no place to level an opinion.

You know what?  Fuck you. I will speak when and where I please, and if it pisses you off that I’m speaking to a subject I can’t possibly relate to because my ancestors were the slaveholders instead of the enslaved, or that I can’t possibly speak against animal cruelty because it’s not my culture, or FGM because that’s not my culture either,  if I can’t speak up for people (ALL people) when they’re being discriminated against, abused, and overlooked because of my age, sex, skin color, or creed,  then I got no time for you. Can you imagine me saying, “Sorry Mr. Castillo, your death is a black, male, registered gun owner problem, it would be inappropriate for me to have an opinion about it or stand up for human rights. C-ya.”

Last I looked we were all Americans, and we need to talk to each other and HEAR each other now more than ever.  Keep turning away voices that want to lend support, you’re gonna find yourselves alone. The civil wars will return and this time it’ll be men v women, race v race, religious v non.  What a heartbreaking scenario. The poison will overtake the body with such stealth that everyone will wonder how it happened at all.

addendum: I’ve never been a fan of dress codes because I hated wearing my school uniform.  I know the codes are in place to help “prevent” bullying, gang identity, and so forth, but not letting a girl wear her hair in braids just crosses a public school line for me.  

 

Skin Care For The Soul

20 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by Kristine in Uncategorized

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Tags

conservative, hate speech, humanity, hysterical snowflake, kindness, liberal, poison, SJW, skin, social media, victim

“Hey Mom?  You know my friend Nicole?  She’s been awful lately, I mean she’s really ragging on Aja about her weight. It’s getting really bad, I mean Aja’s been crying to me a lot about it. But when we’re all together and Nicole drags her, we all laugh, even Aja. Nicole says, ‘oh I’m just kidding you know we love you.”  But today Aja found pictures of dead cows in her locker, and… I just don’t know what to do.”

A)  “That’s awful!  This is the same girl who was messing with you constantly about your boyfriend and all? Well, you can talk to her and tell to knock off the shit with Aja, and see if she backs off. Or.. maybe you just need to find another friend?”

B)  “Well, Aja is overweight.  Have you ever asked her how come she eats so much? Or hinted that maybe you and her could exercise together, and she’d feel and look so much better once she loses the weight?”

******

“I don’t want to go to school because all they ever do is call me a pussy and shove me!! I hate it!!  I didn’t do anything, I never did anything, they post notes on my Facebook that I should kill myself already, the world doesn’t need pussies, and… maybe I do want to die.”

A)  “Ohhh.. Oh no.  Okay. I see how upset you are, and I know, this world is full of awful, hateful people.  It’s just words, honey, and you’ll see, once you get out of school things will be so much better. People change.  But for right now, stay off Facebook and I’ll have a talk with the principal about these bullies, okay?  Okay.”

B) “I suppose they see something in you that makes them say that?  Maybe they don’t like seeing it?  It’s how people are, sometimes. So I’ll tell you what.  Come on over here.  I’m going to show you how to fight back, and the next time one of them says it, you have my permission to put this fist in their mouth.  As for Facebook, just block the trolls and ignore the bullshit, kiddo.  It’s just words.”

********

So.  Do words matter? Does truth in all its shades matter?  And is compromise still a thing?  Is how we perceive words and truth the heart of the matter?  Should we teach our children that words can’t really harm us, that our emotions mean little, to ignore them, because nobody can hurt us without our permission?*  That truth really is arbitrary?  That we all just need to toughen up our skins so we can go placidly amid all the noise and haste?** How long before teaching our kids how to stand up to bullies it turns into “Cash me outside, how bout dat*** (I’ll smash you before you can smash me!)  Can we teach our children (and blooming adults) that refusing victimhood does not mean appeasing cruelty?  That freedom of speech can walk hand in hand with decency and everyone’s differing values?

I like to think the world is more kind and polite when we’re not hiding behind poison pens, those rare times when we come out of our holes and meet face to face, but then I remember. The world is changing rapidly. We can weed out the “weak,” the  dangerous “other” with more economy (and anonymity) than ever before.  Maybe I do need some more sandpaper to toughen up this old soul so I can have confidence in my convictions, even in the face of a hurricane.

*paraphrasing Gandhi

**paraphrasing Desiderata

***Quoting troubled, viral teenager Danielle Bregoli

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