We are walking in groups inside a large, empty, concrete building. Looks like it might have been a warehouse, but there is nothing inside it now except people walking. I know why we are here. I am going there willingly. Are they? We are all white, various ages, and speaking English, shuffling forward.
There is a man over there at the head of the line, sounds like he’s giving directions. He’s an actor, that jovial, familiar man whose name I don’t want to connect to this dream. When I get to the front of the line I am surrounded by women now. We seem to have separated. At the front are three women who are smiling and chatting, as one might do in a salon. They are throwing powder on us, tell us to cover our eyes, turn around, and they take special care to put extra powder on the women with very long hair. They direct us that way, and I think it’s towards the right. I know why we are here. I am going there willingly. Are they?
We stand a long time and wait. The only sound is murmurings, low voices speaking conversations I cannot hear. We are covered in white powder, our eyes moist and small in our faces. “Lie down now.” And we do.
I am inside the oven now, only it has two openings, one they slide me in, and the other side is open where I can see daylight. It’s close in here, but not too close. The “walls” and “ceiling” look like sooty stucco that would crumble at the slightest touch. This is it. The poison gas will be administered here, and it’s coming now. It looks and smells like nothing. I am getting tired, very tired, maybe a little dizzy, and I want to sleep. Suddenly I realize that if I die in this dream, they will find me dead on my bed, and force myself to awaken.
I awoke like nothing ever happened. Calm, heart steady, not sweaty, not screaming. It was four in the morning. I stayed awake for a while wondering what it meant and hoping it wouldn’t come back after I went back to sleep. I wasn’t ready to get out of bed yet.
Some might say I need to lay off the news for a while. I’m just hoping to write this out of my head and try to forget it.